Thursday, May 29, 2014

Every choice has consequences.

Too often we try to bear the burdens of others.  Their choices are not our fault, so their consequences are not our burdens to bear!

As codependents we tend to take the burdens of the world upon us.  

  • If they don't eat it's because we didn't cook the food right.  
  • If they oversleep for work it's because we should have woken them up.  
  • If they drink it's because we upset them.  
These are characteristics the characteristics of codependency.  In our meddling we are not allowing the addict the opportunity to truly live life.   Enabling is the failure to allow someone to receive the natural consequences of their actions.  

How to stop enabling the addict or alcoholic in your life:

  1. Stop making excuses for the addict/alcoholic.  
  2. Set boundaries and stick to them.  
  3. Stop providing money to the addict/alcoholic.  
  4. Stop doing anything that allows the addict/alcoholic to continue their current lifestyle.  
  5. Don't take on responsibilities that the addict/alcoholic should be doing for themselves.  
  6. Allow "No" to be a complete sentence when dealing with the addict/alcoholic.  
  7. Don't drink or do drugs with the addict/alcoholic.  
  8. Don't react to the addicts latest consequences for their behavior.  
It is difficult to see someone we love and care for to have to suffer as a result of their choices.  But we must honestly ask ourselves if it would hurt more to see them lose their life over us helping them continue to thrive in addiction?

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